Home after work today, I plunked onto the couch and decided to listen to the latest episode of Should We, the podcast I make with Lisa. It seemed like just the thing: to close my eyes and sink into the tone of friendship. When the two of us sit in the studio together, our phones go away. What’s left is the gentle flow of conversation and the warmth of our care for each other. I listen to Should We to find a way back to that space.
Once the latest episode wound down, Breaker moved right on to my next unlistened episode, which was all the way back at episode 35: Should We Get Married, published nearly a year ago. The episode ended up being a lot about this very website, and the decision I’d made to invest in a new online home base alongside planning a wedding. As I listened, there was a moment around the 12-minute mark that I’d completely forgotten, and that struck me as especially clear and true:
I just believe in self-expression, and I want to lead by example on that. I believe that good things come of it, and I believe it’s worth doing—and I’ve seen in my own life that it’s worth doing even if there’s no immediate goal. I believe that self-expression draws people to you who will become a part of your life, whether you know it or not, in ways you can’t expect or predict. That’s happened to me many times, and that’s why I believe it.
It took me a while, but here I am: expressing myself just because, with no immediate goal in mind. I’m glad I knew myself well enough to make a place for these words to go.